athello:

Ross: You can go, I just have to fill out some forms. [struggles to hold the pen.]
Joey: You want some help with that?
Ross: Why, does it look like I’m having trouble with my MISSHAPEN CLAW?!
Joey: [takes the form] Okay, name? [Ross gives him a look.] I know Ross but what’s it short for? You know like, Rossel or Rosstepher.
Ross: Just Ross!
Joey: It’s pretty. Okay, date of birth?
Ross: You know my birthday.
Joey: Sure, May… tember.
Ross: October 18th.
Joey: Occupation? Dinosaurs.
Ross: Actually I’m a palian… Dinosaurs is fine. The drawing is not.
Joey: Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact?
Ross: Uh, Rachel I guess.
Joey: Okay, relationship? Boy, this could take a while.

Friends, 9x02 - The One Where Emma Cries

Sheldon: We have to fill these out. Describe illness or injury.
Penny: I dislocated my shoulder.
Sheldon: Cause of accident? Lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, Medical history, have you ever been diagnosed with a Migraine?
Penny: Getting one.
Sheldon: Are you currently pregnant?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Are you sure? You look a little puffy.
Penny: Change migraine to yes.
Sheldon: When was your last menstrual period?
Penny: Oh, next question!
Sheldon: I’ll put, “in progess.” Okay, moving to psychiatric disorders, list all major behavioural diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety, et. cetera.
Penny: Oh, my god, what the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?
Sheldon: Episodes of sub psychotic rage.
Penny: Ass.
Sheldon: Possible Tourette’s.

The Big Bang Theory, 3x08 - The Adhesive Duck Deficiency